So often we do everything we can to avoid conflict because it makes us uncomfortable. Yet, when we’re not willing to get a little uncomfortable we often don’t know what’s important to us. Sometimes it’s important to take a stand so that we see how important something is to us and also how important it is to someone else.
When we take a stand and say this is important, for example, that I will not tolerate such behavior, we are also helping the other person know where our boundaries are. When we set clear boundaries we also make it easier for others to interact with us.
One of the challenges is when someone comes along who continues to push our boundaries even after we think we have clarified them. When this happens one of two things typically has transpired. First we may not have been as clear as we thought we were; in which case a conversation that clarifies the situation will typically take care of the issue. Secondly the individual my just disregard your boundary, even after one or multiple conversations, in which case you may need to be more direct with that individual and tell them that such behavior will no longer be tolerated and if it happens again there will be consequences, which should be spelled out. If it happens again the consequences need to happen, or you will have reiterated that your boundaries are not really boundaries.
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Jane works with CEOs, Partners, Principals and Executives who are looking for Clarity, Focus and Release. My clients and colleagues call me a thought provoking Business Therapist. My focus is helping overwhelmed executives regain clarity, let go of ambiguity, uncertainty and fear, while bringing focus to their goals and objectives. I ask the hard questions knowing that you’re ready to answer them.
Jane is also the author of Put Your Big Girl Panties On and Kick Your Fears in the Ass.
Additional information is available at www.lovasconsulting.com. Contact Jane by email jlovas@lovasconsulting.com or by telephone at 703.594.6028.