How often have you said, “I just can’t do that”? And then someone, maybe even yourself, will ask you, “What are you afraid of?” To which you reply, “I don’t know”.
I know that when that happens to me, when I think about it – really think about it, I know what the fear is. I’m just afraid to say what it is because I’m afraid that it will sound silly or lame – that it’s not a “real” reason to be afraid.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter what you’re afraid is going to happen or why you’re afraid. If you’re afraid you’re afraid. The choice you have now is to admit to yourself or someone close to you what you’re afraid of. Get it out in the open, confront it and look it head on.
You know what fear stands for right – false evidence appearing real. Remember that as you confront your fear, thinking that something terrible is going to happen. Face it down – really look at it and more often than not you’ll see that it isn’t even close to what you imagined – it’s not real.
Once you’ve looked a fear head on and had it back down, the next time it tries to rear its ugly head you’ll be ready to stare it down again and again until it finally gives up and goes home for good!
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Jane works with Women CEOs, Partners, Principals and Executives who are looking for Clarity, Focus and Release. My clients and colleagues call me a thought provoking Business Therapist. My focus is helping overwhelmed women executives regain clarity, let go of ambiguity, uncertainty and fear, while bringing focus to their goals and objectives. I ask the hard questions knowing that you’re ready to answer them.
Jane is also the author of Put Your Big Girl Panties On and Kick Your Fears in the Ass.
Additional information is available at www.lovasconsulting.com. Contact Jane by email jlovas@lovasconsulting.com or by telephone at 703.594.6028.
Woo hoo! You are absolutely right Jane. Have you ever heard of that fable with the giant in the woods that keeps a princess so scared to leave her castle? She finally decides to leave to go to a birthday party and confronts that giant head on, toe-to-toe. She decides to hug him and he starts to shrink little by little until he fits into the palm of her hand. That’s what fear is. Once you face it, it shrinks. Thanks for the reminder! Janet
Thanks for the reminder Jane! I can never hear this too many times!
Inspirational, Jane! Reminds me of “feel the fear and do it anyway.” Our fears are mostly false, and we too often let those false fears control what we do in life.
So many of our fears are phantoms, but not all. It’s important to honor our fear, to listen to it fully, before dismissing it completely. The trick is to know when your fear is guiding you away from danger (that ominous figure in the alley… stay away!) or, as you say, conjuring up “what if’s” that may never happen.
Your suggestion to face (and maybe embrace?) our fears allows us to know which is which.
Waaaoooo – false evidence appearing real – I should put this on my wall, on my door, even on my glasses. I give advice to my kids to acknowledge the fear and act anyway, but I know how I feel. Jane, I should use this advice of yours not only for my kids, but mainly for myself and my fears, I have to kick their ugly faces. Thank you!